Shelter
by Argent
Summary: Caught in memories Abby finds shelter
1. Default Chapter

Shelter  
  
Rated G  
  
All characters © other then me  
  
Music and quotes by the Calling  
  
---  
  
  
  
"Now I'm learning the lies  
  
From the skies where they reign  
  
Can't find shelter for myself"  
  
----  
  
  
  
There had been times.  
  
Times when the lingering daze of smoke had filled her with anger, anger towards herself for being weak, being dependent.  
  
Now, now she welcomed the lingering smoke that hid the moon from her sight, smoke that burned her lungs and made her forget.  
  
If she moved her feet a little she could feel the bottles that lay on the floor, shattered, the last drops floating into the rug.  
  
Inside she was as broken  
  
The pictures laid spread on the table in front of her. Images of flesh and blood that tortured her, that brought back memories.  
  
She rose slowly.  
  
Walked the short distance towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Saw the liquor that had conquered the shelves and inwardly she laughed, bitterly.  
  
She took a bottle and made her way towards the sofa again.  
  
The answering machine kept flashing red.  
  
She knew who it was.  
  
She slumped down on the sofa and twirled the bottle in her hand, unwilling to open it. She reached for the opener and dropped it, watched it fall to the floor.  
  
To the floor, next to the images that shone with joy, that was not covered in blood and for the first time she felt the tears sprung in her eyes.  
  
In the beginning she had believed when they had told her that healing took time and that everything would turn out alright.  
  
Lies –  
  
No one had told her the truth. No one had told her that she had to live through life with memories of the golden times.  
  
No one had told her that she had to live through life with memories of torn flesh and blood sprawled on the floor.  
  
No one –  
  
  
  
-- Tbc – 


	2. Shelter

**Shelter******

By Argent****

**Rated PG**

Part Two   


* ****

  


She had fallen asleep. 

The digital numbers on the VCR told her that. Hours had passed since she had closed her eyes and she was awake. 

She stumbled up from the sofa. 

Searched the refrigerator for something that would help ease the hunger in her. Ended up opening another beer. 

She took a sip. 

It poured through her, filled her. Left her numb to the world. She took another sip and walked back towards the sofa. Lighted a cigarette, inhaled. 

Yesterday a month had passed. Today a month and a day had passed and the lies had been only lies. The truth had been the truth. 

The blood spilled had been the truth. 

She inhaled once again. Slowly she let the smoke escape her lungs. Took another sip of the beer. Felt revealed that the phone had stopped ringing. 

She killed the cigarette. 

Let her hand travel her stomach. Felt the lifeless skin. Remembered tightened skin and took another sip of her beer. 

Death had been the truth. 

Life had been the lie. 

Some had told her that life would continue. That had been a lie. No one had told her that life wouldn't continue, no one had told her the truth. 

He had told her that they could try again. That next time would be different. That he loved her, that the grief was his too. 

She had left. 

Secluded herself in her apartment. Only entering the world when she needed supplies. Beer and cigarettes sometimes perhaps a Snapple or two. 

Sometimes when she looked at herself in the mirror she felt nauseated. Her skin was grey, her eyes blurry and red darken circle beneath them. 

She had crashed the mirror. 

In the beginning there had been knocks on her door. Now the telephone rang. Messages were left on her answering machine, the postman delivered letters. 

She ignored them. 

She turned on the television. Zapped through the channels. Found nothing of interest. Left the commercial channel on remote. 

Watched as the lady with heavy make-up tried to sell the new ever-so-fantastic training machine. She took another sip of her beer. 

The bottle was empty.   


*   


  


Once more she walked to the refrigerator. A bit of cheese lay deserted on one shelf. She looked around, found her keys left on the kitchen table. 

She picked them up and walked to the door. Opened it, walked outside. Walked inside again quickly closing the door after her. 

Peaked through the peephole. 

He was asleep. 

His clothes rumbled. His hair ruffled. His face tormented even in his sleep. 

He was asleep. 

Perhaps she could walk past him. Only to return before he awoke. 

She opened the door again. Quietly. Walked on her toes past him. Was almost at the end of the stairs when she heard her name spoken from his lips. 

"Abby." 

A word, a word that trapped her, stilled her. 

She heard him walk down the stairs. Felt him stop behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. Turned her around. Looked her in the eyes. 

"You stink." 

Two words, tow words that broke the tension. That brought a smile to her face, a little smile yet still a smile and he kissed her. 

He kissed her and mumbled in her ear. 

"I lost her, I don't want to lose you too." 

She tried to smile again, succeeded. Held him close to her. Mumbled words herself, let the grief of yesterday and a month wash over her again.   


The End   


all characters copyright others then me   
  
  



	3. Runnning

Shelter  
  
By Argent  
  
Abby finds shelter…  
  
All characters © other then me  
  
Rated G  
  
For Milla as she shoved my how music can really sound like.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
He held her close.  
  
Forced his love upon her. Willed her back to the life outside her apartment. Willed her to see his love. Willed her to see his lost.  
  
And she almost understood.  
  
She wasn't the only one that had suffered. Wasn't the only one that had been touched by the blood on the pictures. She wasn't the only one that had felt grief.  
  
She held him close. Willed him to see her. Too see what she had become. Willed him to see whom it was that he claimed he loved.  
  
The smell of alcohol, the smell of cigarettes.  
  
He held her tighter.  
  
Ignored the smells. Told her that she had been lost now she was found. She believed him, almost. Almost believed that perhaps everything would be all right. That perhaps the lies hadn't been lies.  
  
She felt loved.  
  
In her mind realty roared it's ugly head, told her that it still was only lies, that the blood on the pictures was still there. That he would go away and she would be alone again.  
  
She pushed him away.  
  
Ran.  
  
Ragged breaths that burned within. Him screaming her name. Continued. Pushed herself further away. Heard his footsteps getting closer.  
  
Took a chance.  
  
The cars bypassed her. Let her live. She didn't want to live. She was useless. She had caused the blood on the pictures. She had killed.  
  
Killed their unborn child.  
  
She forgot the reason of death. Let her imagination ran free.  
  
She ran.  
  
Pushed herself further. Felt her muscle tighten, the need for oxygen that overcame her. She stopped. Breathed. Heard his footstep getting closer once more.  
  
Willed her tired muscles to move.  
  
Ran.  
  
She had killed. She wasn't worth the footsteps that got closer. She had killed. Thoughts ran through her mind. Words echoed in her mind.  
  
Reasons of death: Miscarriage. Time of death…  
  
She had killed.  
  
She ran.  
  
Ragged breaths that burned within. His footsteps that had got closer. She wasn't worthy…She wasn't worthy his love. Wasn't worthy…  
  
She stumbled. Got up on her feet. Felt his hand touch her arm.  
  
She was caught.  
  
He turned her around. Forced her to meet his eyes. Forced her to see that he wouldn't go away. That he would stay.  
  
Lies, or truth. She didn't know. She was confused. Her mind swirled. Lies or truth, life or death, lies or truth, life or death.  
  
Truth.  
  
Lies.  
  
She cried, violent sobs that made her shiver. Her eyes told him that she wasn't worthy, that she had killed and he held her close. Told her the medical facts of the death. That it hadn't been her fault.  
  
It had.  
  
She had taken away their unborn child from its father, this world. She had killed. It had been her fault. She tried to tell him.  
  
He just held her closer.  
  
Ignored the glances from the people walking the street. Ignored her attempts at escaping. Held her tight.  
  
Her mind swirled. Told her that he loved her. Told her that he should hate her. Told her that she had killed. She escaped.  
  
Ran.  
  
Took another chance…  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
"Dr. Carter. I am sorry to say this but we lost her. There was nothing else we could have done."  
  
He rose.  
  
He had lost her. Again.  
  
He had seen her eyes, seen the hunted look. Heard her mumble that she had killed and he had known then that he would never get her back. Not the real her.  
  
He walked outside the hospital.  
  
He had loved and been loved. Only the love hadn't been enough. It hadn't been enough to save her. He hoped only that she had found the shelter she had needed in life.  
  
Silent tears fell as he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry Carter…"  
  
  
  
--The End --  
  
  
  
  
  
Authors Note: This is the final chapter ladies and gentlemen. From the beginning the second chapter was meant to be the end although your reviews convinced me that perhaps something's had to be clarified. I would just like to end it thanking all of you that has reviewed. I am so glad that you enjoyed my little venture into Carby fan fiction. (Even though you may not after this chapter, who knows?)  
  
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